Rooftop Party at Our House Tonight!!!

Back to our critter problem. Richard now knows what’s living in our fireplace. Not squirrels but raccoons! He was out early one morning and saw this big ass coon staring down at him from the roof. Then as if to say “good night; I’m going to sleep now,” that coon climbed the chimney and disappeared.

I called the wildlife control and spoke to Jessie who plans to come out and rid those coons. I must say I was concerned about babies and Jessie confirmed that it probably was a mother coon with her babes. But what they do is place pheromone scents in the chimney. Pheromones are chemicals excreted by a species that prompt different behaviors depending on the scent, including sexual attraction if you can believe it. So Jessie is putting pheromones that will alarm the mother coon. She’ll go out and get another pad to sleep in, come back and take her babies. Richard just hopes it’s not the other end of our house. At this point, we’d better get a cap on our chimneys.

Someone at Richard’s work suggested blasting music up the chimney. The noise will bother the mother coon and she will presumably leave.

Well that didn’t happen.

Richard went home at lunch and turned the stereo on full blast to rap music. Upon our return that evening, those f’n coons were partying on our roof. I tell you, they were dancing and rapping and throwing acorns at our heads laughing.

Time for pheromones and they’d better be the right scent…not the scent of a sexual male coon because I’ll be living in the raccoon equivalent of the Hugh Heffner Bunny mansion.


"When this old world starts a getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I'm gonna climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares they drift right into space

Oh on the roof it's peaceful as can be
And there the world below, it don't bother me

No no no no

So when I come home feeling tired and beat
I got to go up where the air is fresh and sweet for me now
I'm far away from the hustling crowd
And all that rat race noise down in the street

Oh on the roof, that's the only place that I know
Look at the city baby
Where you just have to wish to make it so
Lets go up on my roof

And at night the stars, they put on a show for free
And darlin' you can share, share it all with me" - James Taylor